I have been at The Hermitage for about one and a half years and over that short time I have learned a few things about myself. The first one is more of a reminder or reaffirmation that I am a strong introvert. I’ve pretty much always known I was an introvert, but my need for personal space has felt much more pronounced since starting here. The other more surprising fact that I’ve learned about myself is that I love to extend hospitality to our guests.
These two realizations seem like opposites, with the introvert recoiling from people, and the hospitable stepping forward to engage people. My work as “Guest Services Coordinator” however, has offered me a different experience of extending hospitality, one that both offers solitude and detachment, as well as opportunity to genuinely welcome all guests.
A significant reason why extending hospitality here feels easier for me is I am not welcoming people into my home, into my personal space. I am welcoming people to a set apart space. As an introvert I am very attuned to feelings of personal invasion – into my physical, mental, or emotional space – and while I love the place of The Hermitage, it is not me or mine. I serve The Hermitage and its mission; The Hermitage is not an extension of me. These are the kind of boundaries an introvert needs.
Additionally, my interactions with guests at The Hermitage are generally brief. When a guest arrives I am able to offer a kind welcome and help them feel oriented. I’ve typically had some email correspondence with a new guest and when they arrive my presence brings a little bit of familiarity. Guests are generally not coming here to meet and get to know interesting new people, but they come for silence, solitude and prayer. They don’t need me checking in on them. Some guests arrive and depart with no more than a few words spoken.
Another aspect of hospitality that works for this introvert is I get to feed people. Receiving healthy, home-made meals prepared by someone else is one of the gifts many guests mention as an important part of their time here. Cooking here is for me both a lovely solitary activity and a very real expression of hospitality. I am writing this on a Saturday morning and am spending my time between the kitchen and the office. There is a group in the Gathering Room, guests in their guest rooms, and I am working alone. They will all gather in the dining room at 12:30 and I will be able to offer them a meal with the words “food is God’s love made edible.” And then we eat in silence.
Much of the hospitality I provide is about creating a hospitable environment; making sure the guest rooms are well appointed and clean and are stocked with tissues, tea lights, matches, a working alarm clock. It is also about making sure they are able to find the information they need in a variety of places. In my email correspondence with people scheduling a retreat I always try to include the phrase “We look forward to you joining us on retreat.” I actually think being an introvert makes me more attuned to these small details of hospitality.
At times I still think my introversion is a flaw that needs to be overcome. It can have its negative tendencies, just like extroversion, but it is also filled with gifts to be offered. I am learning that some of the gifts of introversion include its own unique expression of hospitality.